We never get used to the jokes of our mind. We should not get used to, because we risk regretting actions that we didn’t make, or words that we didn’t say. We use to spend whole days thinking back to those moments when we wanted to be different, to act in a better way, to say one more word that would have changed everything. And we torment ourselves for this.
It’s a vortex: as you slide down you realize that you have less and less strength to go back, until you reach to the point where you can’t do anything. It takes so little, sometimes, finding the courage to tell someone what you think, the integrity to tell the truth, the passion to express the joy, or the lucidity to say to a relative that he has been important for your life.
Going back for going forward
Children don’t have this kind of problem. Since they are in the world they are eager to communicate everything they feel, to express what they need. At the beginning of their life they have only few tools to communicate, and yet they succeed. And when they start to talk they have no filters. Communication is everything for them.
Growing up, communication between people usually becomes a problem. The opposite. We always think about what we should say and what we shouldn’t according to our own list of criteria and based on our past experience. We split on who’s talking “too much” or “too little”. We focus on quantity rather than quality of communication.
It is behind the scenes most of the time. We feel stronger, as if we were “superior” to certain situations. We think that making a compromise and to recognize a mistake is a weak person move. The pride holds us back even when it shouldn’t.
“Finding every words swallowed for a matter of pride, ’cause only there I find you”
There is an answer, a solution: it’s just at the point where the pride stings. At that point we can find those Missing Words we seek and that we didn’t say. And maybe we can find a relationship that seemed to be lost.