When I was young I wanted to become a paleontologist (among many other things), I could have never imagined to become a singer, nor to teach to someone else what I do.
I do not remember if I considered myself good in communicating, but I was sure about having no patience at all. Patience is important for a teacher; it is probably the most important part. You can ask to my sister, she is 5 years younger than I am. Back in the days, she was debased by my sentence in reply to my mother’s request to help her out with her homework: “Ugh! But I always made my homework by myself… why shouldn’t she?!”. My mother always replied sarcastically: “Thank you, you are always of great help!”.
Thinking about it today, I do not remember saying those words with bad intent. I concluded that it was an attempt to start a reasoning, mixed with a little bit of jealousy toward my parents. I thought that they were not able to see my efforts in doing all by myself in almost all things.
Over the years, however, I had the proof that, sometimes, union is strength and that the word “share” is not always that bad. I saw the positive effects on my sister and on other people, while I lived on my own skin the consequences of my mild misanthropy on several occasions.
The need to live loneliness intensely has never left me; I need to be alone in order to study, in order to write… I could never do in any other way. Nevertheless, one day I suddenly realized that I could “translate” all the things that I learned and I studied with great difficulty in a more immediate language. I realized that my experience and my research could have been useful to someone else and that I could live out of this.
I lived and I still live my greatest joy whenever this transmission of knowledge grows in something beautiful and new for someone else. Sometimes this someone has the look crossed by small shadows. It does not seem to be perfectly aligned with the spirit of reality in which he lives. It is possible that someone entrusts me with immense confidence and manages to find a new light, as if he finally conquered his place in the world.
Whenever this happens, it seems almost that a little revenge has arrived for the little cold-hearted child.